What's Your Tree Love Language?
But perhaps more importantly, what is your partner's?
Love in a relationship becomes a more involved practice the longer the relationship lasts. That’s why we have the famous Five Love Languages—Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Giving of Gifts, and Quality Time—to help us communicate. Some call it the “ultimate partner hack.”
But equally, and perhaps of greater importance are the five Tree Love Languages. Lots of couples come to me with the same question: “Tobin, we both love trees, but how can I express my love for them in a way that my partner understands and responds to?” The key term here is responds. It’s wonderful that you love reading poetry under an English Oak during magic hour, but it can be frustrating when your partner would rather climb it. This path leads to divorce.
That’s why I designed the five Tree Love Languages, so that relationship partners can first identify their own Tree Love Language then share it with their partner so they can each know how they like to show their love for trees. Take a look below and identify which one best describes your insatiable love for trees:
Facts of Service
This is a partner’s contribution of esoteric, anecdotal, or insight-based information. The romantic partner who favors facts of service finds discussion about trees to be the best expression of their love for them. Ignoring this partner’s “fun facts” can be particularly hurtful.
Botanical Touch
Botanical Touch is the physical expression of a partner’s love for trees. This includes climbing, hugging, leaning, and, in some isolated instances, caressing. A person who ignores their partner’s fondness for botanical touch will leave their partner feeling botanically unconnected to them.
Words of Malformation
These are puns. This includes anything from the groan-worthy “stick with me” to the more advanced forms, including, “the 21st day of Septimber,” and “what a poplar guy.” Those who love words of malformation adore sharing laughs, and if they go out on a limb with a pun and receive the cold shoulder from their partner, it can leaf them stumped.
Growing of Gifts
The growing of gifts is a partner’s penchant for expressing tree love through tree-based gifts and experiences. For example, a partner might buy you a bonsai tree, or pick out a beautifully colored leaf for you on a pleasant autumn walk, or perhaps sign you both up for a Friday night laser light show at the Arboretum. When their partner neglects to return their gifts with botanical gestures of their own, it can leave them despondent.
Quali-tree Time
This is the simple pleasure of being in the presence of a great tree. The aforementioned poetry-reader, the big tree enthusiast, and even the average nature-walker all are the kinds of partners who may favor quali-tree time. But quali-tree time with only a tree as your companion is never as good as quali-tree time spent together.