An Open Challenge to Jimmy Fallon

My rival Webby nominee thinks our category of "Social Media-Weird" is one big joke. Let's see who's laughing in a few weeks, James.

To one James Thomas Fallon—

It was a delight to see your name—specifically, the name of the cable access talk show you host—alongside mine when Webby nominations for the “Social Media—Weird” category were announced this Tuesday last. I’ve always enjoyed your little jokes and quaint, bite-sized impressions that are equal parts amusing and forgettable. Our awards parity made me feel important and accomplished. But then this happened:

Jimmy Fallon Mocks the "Social Media--Weird" Category in which he is nominated alongside me.

Woe unto me! My pride turned to goo when, in a scripted bit imploring your limited cable access audience to vote, you snickered at the category in which we are both nominated. In doing so, you also snickered at me, a fellow nominee.

If I wanted such condescension, I would talk to my children.

I suppose the “Social Media—Weird” category in the Webby Awards isn’t such big potatoes when placed alongside your several Emmys

But here’s the thing:

I don’t think you’re particularly weird. I actually think you’re pretty normal, and even something of a poseur.

But I have a modest proposal for equalling the playing field in which I presume you’ll just strut, ever-nonchalantly, to victory. If you consider yourself “weird,” and I mean the glue-eating, spaghetti-hair-wearing, nick-names-for-your-fingers kind of “weird” that all the real weirdos are, then you won’t back down from a weirdness challenge.

So here it is:

We let the Webby chips fall where they may. Do I suspect you’ll have used your bully pulpit and your cable access show to garner more votes than the rest in a typical Fallon breach-of-ethics in order to win? Sure. But that’s the game I agreed to.

But this is the challenge: you, James Thomas Fallon, aka a gentleman with a limited-reach cable access show and I, Tobin Mitnick, aka a Jew Who Loves Trees, enter into a contest of wits in which we produce the weirdest 60-second video imaginable by April 15th, and we put it to a public vote.

If you refrain from the challenge, I’ll consider you a coward even more than I already do. That is all. By the way, if you’d like to vote for me against this snickering gentleman, you can do so here:

My standard regards,

Tobin Mitnick, a Jew Who Loves Trees